So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
