my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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