do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
