i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I look better un-naked...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
