Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
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