Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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