Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
