my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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