It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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