man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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