I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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