Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize