my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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