the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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