drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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