lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
