Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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