But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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