i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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