how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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