YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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