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• (310): View more from California

  thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry

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• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.

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  19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.

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• (607): View more from New York

  I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.

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  25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Thats Poetry

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them

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• (206): View more from Washington

  Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.

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