dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
It's shark week go big or go home
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
