i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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