i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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