That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
