You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I need moral support for this bender
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
