so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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