i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
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