I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
