Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize