Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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