i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I think your dad took our porno
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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