The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
