My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Sponge bath it is.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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