Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
