Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
