Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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