WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
