I think I won the penis lottery.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize