I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
