Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
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