i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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