How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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