I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
