yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize