i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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