I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
