Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
