apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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