you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
