4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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