Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
