Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
