let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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