am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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