420 ftw
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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