I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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