I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
