Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
