i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
