i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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