Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
